BEWARE OF ANGELS

Real angels are dangerous and malicious.
There are ways to tell if someone is an angel. Refer to this set of rules:

• Angels do not use their front facing eyes to detect threats. Their peripheral vision is 360 degrees.
• Angels have inconsistent motor muscle control. An angel may drop small objects like pens frequently.
• Angels have a tendency to favor sweet tasting foods.
• Angels have slow heartbeats.
• Angels may not detect sarcasm present in human speech patterns and may treat such words seriously.
• Angels can go long durations without sleeping. One may act tired to appear more human.
• Angels have no inner monologue and aphantasia and struggle to visualize imagined objects or sounds.
• Angels breathe irregularly when they're cold.
• Angels have poor eyesight in human form and tend to use glasses or contacts.
• Angelic blood has a distinct brimstone scent to it.
• Angels have poor memory regarding time and may forget significant dates.
• Angels get addicted to substances like nicotine, alcohol, caffeine, and THC easily.
• Angels tend to live alone and don't stay in relationships for very long.
• Angels sometimes twist common phrases such as "mine offer madder" instead of "mind over matter."
• Angels have bad posture and tend to slouch.
• Angels have beautiful singing voices.
• Angels have a high spice tolerance.

If you suspect someone you know is an angel, do not approach them.
Do not follow them if they ask you to accompany them to the woods, the beach, or any open fields.
If you see one in its true form, it is too late.